Well, it’s another one of those days when I just have zero desire to write. It’s like a weird combination of writer’s block and just being completely wiped out. Ever had one of those days?
I think a lot of it has to do with knowing that I’m going on a mini holiday in just a couple of days. On Wednesday, I’ll be heading north to a small country hotel to enjoy a few days of peace and quiet just for me. No partner, no work, just me and my writing and a sleepy little village where everything closes by 5pm.
I really can’t wait to be away. I cannot remember the last time I just had some time to myself. It seems like it never happens anymore, and I think that’s a reason I am really struggling right now.
While I have often lamented recently about my lack of friends that I can socialise with on a regular basis, I think a lot of the mental afflictions and the negativity that is affecting me right now is coming from not having any time to myself. In the last few years, I have gotten accustomed to spending quite a lot of time on my own. I spend that time reading, writing, drawing, thinking, blogging, singing, planning etc. It’s nice sometimes to just have that space and that quiet to just be alone and be at total peace.
Don’t get me wrong, there is so much in my life to be thankful for. I love my partner dearly, and he’s been an incredible support system over these past few months. But sometimes, you just need to have some uninterrupted quiet. Sometimes you just need room and space to sleep and eat and write in total solitude.
I think the amount of work that I’ve been doing has also been a major factor on my mental state and writing ability at the moment. The kind of work that I do has a tendency to appear a lot like a swan. Majestic, organised, easy and slow moving on the top — chaos, stress and exhaustion underneath.
It’s going to be a great recharger for me to just have a couple of days away to relax and not worry about what is going on back here, in real life.
So, to my followers, sorry there are no new tales or positive or inspiring stories today. Maybe tomorrow, when the holiday excitement nerves have kicked in and have got the creative juices flowing. If not, expect lots of beautiful pictures and stories to be coming along in the next few days.
Memoirs of a Pond-Crosser 